Bro Codes

The 150 Codes Of Brotherhood

Bro Code 150)

 No sex with you Bro’s ex. It is never ever permissible for a Bro to sleep with his Bro’s ex. Violating this code is worse than killing a Bro.

Bro Code 148)

A Bro doesn’t listen to chick music…in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.

Bro Code 147)

If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro’s back. Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy. If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week. If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody’s back.

Bro Code 146)

A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros. Providing graphic detail unconsciously forces your Bros to picture you naked and there is no coming back from that

Bro Code 145)

A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

Bro Code 144)

 It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it’s still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.

Bro Code 143)

When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or grasping his Bro’s hand

Bro Code 142)

A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.

Bro Code 141)

 A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he’s trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the manicure, or (b) its been longer than a month since his last manicure. Its called the Bro Code, not the slob Code.